Here are a few strategies from our Blossoms.com | CherryBlossoms.com Dating Team on what not to write in your online dating profile.
Are you wondering why your matches aren’t responding to your profile? Are you so focused on brushoffs? Do you have the right frame of mind to meet anyone amazing?
People are often short on time and frequently lack attention to detail. If you want to optimize the probability of awareness and engagement from potential dates online, read on.
Your profile says what you do not want.
Would you watch a film if it made you feel miserable? Will you date someone who barely smiled?
How will you respond to someone whose profile enumerates what they dislike in a potential partner? Don’t they give the impression that they are inclined to be judgemental? A little bit pessimistic? Studies have shown that pessimism is associated with more aggressive and hostile interpersonal styles.
Imagine asking a guest in your home if they’d like a drink, and their response was, “No instant coffee! If you don’t have real coffee, I’d rather not have any.” Annoying and rude, right?
“If you are looking for money, find a bank. Please don’t ask me for it. I do not tolerate liars or scammers,” is one of the most cynical first lines in an online profile that we’ve read.
You’re coming across as suspicious and a mean or miserly person. The Blossoms Dating Site has automated systems and a team of moderators who conduct a detailed check on all new registrations. We have published warnings about “How to Avoid Scams,” so you don’t have to waste the precious space in your dating profile for such a pessimistic warning.
Your profile is exceedingly long.
Your online dating profile is not your résumé. A resume itself is a summary of your professional experiences and skills, and education history. The operative word is summary. If your profile is ten times longer than everyone else’s, potential dates won’t give it much attention.
You’re an exciting person with interests and accomplishments. But, you should share just enough information to create intrigue. Think about a real-life experience: if you met an attractive woman, you wouldn’t approach her and monopolize the conversation with a monologue about your life.
Be concise, clear, and watch out for typographical and grammatical errors. Your text should be easy for members to comprehend. Note that English is a second language for Filipinas and other Asian women. You will have plenty of time to discuss your hopes and dreams when you meet someone you like and who likes you back. Take a look at the clarity of the profile below:
“I’m a gentleman with emphasis on gentle. Friends say that I’m kind with a tender heart, takes great pride in being polite and courteous, and look for the good in people. I’m searching for my heart’s final destination. I’m interested in meeting a woman who knows how to give and receive love and who wants to be part of a loving relationship.”
Keep your profile upbeat, positive, and focused on all the fantastic things you have to offer and look for in a new relationship. Don’t complain about your single status, about the bad dates you’ve had lately with women out to con you, or about the sad state of affairs in your life—no one’s seeking an embittered misanthrope. Here’s a great example of a cheerful, positive, and upbeat profile:
“Some do not realize the gift that they have within themselves. Life is too short to be negative. Always look for the good in everything and everybody. It’s there if we all take the time to look. Life is about love.”
You don’t talk about long-term commitment.
Be honest that you’re looking for a genuine long-term relationship, and many women from Asia and the Philippines are also looking for the same commitment. Keeping in mind that an online profile is like an initial introduction, bringing up a lifelong relationship as a goal will attract the right people.
You’re dismissing online dating.
Don’t bite the hand that might be feeding you your true love. Maybe, you are dissing the dating site you are a member of. Are you being respectful to the single women who are reading your profile? Perhaps, you are critical of the women on the site. Insulting the dating site and method — or the members using the dating site and method — of finding love that you’re currently giving a try is a major turn-off. You’ll come across as condescending and judgmental. Try to compare the two examples below to determine which one is infinitely better.
“There are many Filipinas who prefer much older husbands. The most common reasons are that they feel older men typically have more money to support their families. There are also a few intelligent girls who realize the real advantages of an older man, such as he does not have a few more years to give.”
“I appreciate all the many types of women on Cherry Blossoms, and I truly hope that every one of us finds true love. I want to be clear about what I want in a soul mate. If you don’t possess these qualities, it doesn’t mean I don’t respect you and appreciate you.”
You’re too hung up on your ex or about sex.
Remember the rules of first-date conversation? Apply them to how you introduce yourself to potential dates online. What do you think of this example? How many times did the writer make a sexual reference?
“I want my future wife to be highly sexual because making love every day is crucial to me. For me, intimacy is important, so please, if you’re not highly sexual, please do not message me, and please skip my profile. I have a high sex drive, and I want my future wife to have a high sex drive. Having sex is the best medicine, and it will keep my wife and me looking good and young.”
Never lie. Ever. Don’t lie about your age, height, or weight. Don’t pretend to be who you’re not because you’ll be found out soon enough. It would help if you didn’t use deception to lure potential dates.
You’re leaving things blank.
Like the example below, if you can’t put the time into filling out a simple Blossoms Dating profile, why would a future partner expect you’d spend the time getting to know them?
“I am looking to meet the one finally. No scammers that are just looking for money.”
Focus on what you have to offer and what you want. Don’t implement a list of dating edicts or expectations, not unless you don’t want anyone to communicate with you. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you don’t need hundreds of women to respond to you. All you need is to attract the attention of the RIGHT one.